The Liberal Canon

All cultures are equal. One culture is less equal than others.

Members of a minority are never responsible for their failures. Members of the majority are never responsible for their successes.

Only the Liberal elite and certain select villains on the Right have free will.

Capitalism is bad because it requires empathy. Socialism is good because it requires only sympathy.

No statement is ever true or false except this one.

Cultural Relativism is a fact. Temporal Relativism is not.

A woman has a right to her body, but no responsibility for it.

Everyone is a hypocrite.

Words speak louder than actions.

Submission in the name of tolerance is not the same as cowardice.

The truth of one's argument can be enhanced by dressing up in a funny costume.

Police States aren't. Non-Police States are.

No one should be judged on the content of his character.

To explain why other cultures hate the West, one may go as far back into history as one wishes.

There is no such thing as “Good” except the “Common Good”.

Results don't count. Only intentions matter.

The truth value of any data depends entirely on who funded the research.

Anything your elected President says is false. Anything an unelected dictator from another country says is true.

Two legs good. Four legs better.

You can't tell us what drugs we can't use, be we can tell you what foods you can't eat.

An unpleasant fact can be dealt with by changing the words used to describe it.

A criminal is never responsible for his actions, but law-abiding citizens are responsible for the actions of their ancestors unto the 70 and 7^th generation.

Fighting in a battle for the sake of your country doesn't require bravery. Holding up a sign during a protest march does.

To be a truly authentic individual, you need to have the same tattoos and to dress exactly like all the other authentic individuals.

If you are a minority, you should be proud of genetic traits over which you had absolutely no control.

Having a bumper sticker that says “Free Tibet” or “Save Darfur” is morally equivalent to actually freeing Tibet or saving Darfur.

If you don't believe what we do it is because you are stupid or evil.

The worst thing that anyone can do is to “act white”.

The seven deadly sins are:

Greed

Intolerance

Absolutism

Patriotism

Christianity

Violence

Inequality

The seven holy virtues are:

Envy

Tolerance

Relativism

Internationalism

Mysticism

Non-Violence

Equality of results